Good-day Chaps!
We have had some absolutely marvellous news! The QUATTT trials have been progressing swimmingly, which is absolutely the best way to progress in otter society I can tell you!
The chaps in the lab began by taking the whole thing pretty carefully. No hamster shenanigans or errant nephews this time. It is all extremely dull scientific. Of course, of course, scientific is just what we want in relation to these things. Could all get terribly confusing otherwise, people popping in to say they have urgent business in Scotland last Thursday and whatnot!
Sensible, and necessary I am told, but it doesn’t make for a lot of interesting reading. Someone let Peter Paddlefoot write all of the reports too, very keen on details that young otter, very keen indeed.
Anyhow, now I gather, they have reached the beta phase of testing. I asked Duncan McBristlewhiskers about this outlandish terminology over a very fine plate of minnow and sardine sandwiches. He was an extremely good sport and explained the whole thing. It means the second phase of the testing, the phase where everything has to begin with B. Yes, that was it, the B phase. Absolutely splendid idea that, alphabetical testing, not too long until we get to G testing, then I can send the chaps to 16th century Germany for some of that super shrimp!!
This B phase explains why I have just received this fantastic report from Zsofia from the Temporal Exploration team, they ended up in Brazil in March don’t you know. Brilliant stuff I can tell you!
QUATTT Beta Test 1: Temporal Exploration Team Report part 1
With all required equipment safely stowed on our belts, along with one or two extra notebooks for Peter (just in case), we leaped into the time tank and swam like billy-o as laid down in the official regulations.
After an amount of time that was both as long as the eons and flashed by in a moment (actually slightly less than a moment which Peter tells me is 90 seconds), we felt the now familiar feeling of being turned inside out and overtaking ourselves from the inside. Braced for action we emerged into a most unexpected cacophony of light and noise!
The coordinates had been set for a back street in Rio de Janeiro , we had been expecting dark and quiet. What we encountered appeared to be a wide boulevard lit by many multi coloured light things and filled with enormous human bird hybrids! Peter was fascinated, we appeared to have discovered a whole colony of some fantastical new species, he seemed to thing note taking was in order! I knew there was no time to lose, we needed to regroup somewhere away from stampeding feathery giants with spike heeled claws!
I grabbed peter by the utility belt and dragged him down a side street heedless to his cries of “I just need to write down the number of…argghh!” or some such thing! As we rounded the corner we came upon another herd of these fantastical creatures, many of these were making some sort of music-like noises! This was too much for even Peter, he bit his notebook to leave all his paws free, and we made good our escape! We hurtled out of the side street, across in between the first flock of feathery hybrids and dashed into an open doorway.
The room we entered was filled with even more chaos than outside, there seemed to be humans helping hybrid creatures with their transformation, and others that seemed to be attempting to change back. All around the floor there were feathers and scraps of brightly coloured stretchy material. We scampered through as best we could but I fear I heard a good deal of toppling and clattering behind us, and it was impossible to remain free from entanglement. We somehow became embroiled in bits of cloth of a very startling pink with black swirls!
We headed for the window and leaped out just as I heard the cry:
“Otters!! in pink and black shirts!!”
My goodness this is really a first rate report! Zsofia really has a way with the dramatic! I think I’d better leave it here for now, as something tells me Simon Swifttail will be extremely interested in this!!
Brilliant stuff, really fantastic! I am quite concerned about these hybrid bird humans mind you. I think this needs to be investigated further, dangerous sounding things those!
Now with all the excitement I have misplaced my sandwich. I will take this report to Simon and call into the kitchens on the way back, I dare say they will be able to find me some splendid snacks to keep me going until supper!
The Otter Chronicles 