Emergency security council meeting

Morning Chaps,

I thought it was high time I finished telling you about that infernal security meeting, then we can get on to the much more interesting business of what was going on in the “perfectly normal” QUATTT lab.

The whole situation was most intriguing, I can tell you, but I had to get that damned meeting out of the way first. Especially as I had commandeered the security fellows as an escort!

The first thing I noticed when I entered the meeting pool was that the snack containers were nearly empty, they seemed to contain a few half nibbled fish tails and a couple of what looked like herring bones. This is not to be tolerated, not tolerated at all! It was quite evident that the meeting had been underway for some time and they had undoubtedly sourced sub standard snacks from some organisation other than the wonderful Holt catering department!

I couldn’t let this sort of thing pass without some comment, I splashed my way to the head of the pool and demanded to know the meaning of these goings on! I made it quite clear that impromptu meetings with unsanctioned snacks would not be tolerated! Not at all! And what’s more, I mentioned in no uncertain terms that I was not going to stand for this summoning business, especially not when the meeting had already been going for some time!

As I stood there, whiskers all a quiver, it rapidly became clear that no one was expecting me. There was a good deal of paw shuffling and some chaps I vaguely recognised exchanged some very shifty glances in a way that, I assume, they believed I wouldn’t notice!

Well someone summoned me I told them, and I’d better get some sort of explanation without further ado!

No more ado, I told them, get to the explaining!

What I got in response seemed to be complete and utter nonsense!

There was muttering about not wanting to bother me and knowing I had a busy schedule which is totally poppycock because I am quite capable of deciding what I do and don’t have time for. There was some talk of increased risk of invasion by the large armed otters which they strongly believe might be the Otters of the Apocalypse. This, of course is also highly suspicious as there was no representation from the Prophecy Translation Team present and, as I understand it, there is still some doubt about the identity of the Otters of the Apocalypse. According to Simon Swifttail it is not at all certain that these large otters are, in fact, apocalyptic at all.

According to the apparent leader of this so called security meeting, they believe that there has already been an incursion of the large otters and there might be collusion in one or two of the departments to cover this up.
This seems highly unlikely to me, If anyone is colluding to keep things quiet it is this nefarious bunch of rapscallions!

They went to great lengths to convince me that excluding me from this meeting was purely a magnanimous gesture to save me from the mountains of paperwork that they claimed was going to be involved in the investigation into the collusion, they claim that some sort of audit is going to be required and that they will, of course, report their findings.

I did see a lot of papers floating around the room, some of them looked official and I am sure I noted the letters OIA on some of them. However, it the question remains, who summoned me and why don’t these fellows know about it. It is all very suspicious I can tell you!

By this time I was very keen to find out what was going on in the QUATTT as I passed, and I was more than a little peckish, however I made it clear that I was not leaving the meeting, and whatever audit rubbish they needed to talk about they could talk about it right there in my presence.

By some miraculous coincidence, they were just wrapping up the meeting and it was time to adjourn. As we all parted I made sure to purloin a list of the attendees from a nervous looking chap in a security hat who assured me I would be forwarded a copy of the minutes. The shifty chaps did not look happy about that but seemed to be keeping quiet for the time being.

I made sure that the meeting had well and truly dispersed before started back to the QUATTT, it was high time I had a chat with those fellows. They wouldn’t keep meetings a secret from me, of that I am quite certain! First rate otters the lot of them! As I headed off decided that it might be prudent to take a circuitous route to the QUATTT, one that took in the kitchens, after all this amount of excitement calls for a tremendous snack!